Seattle Faces Water Shortage After Spit Sponge Accident
Seattle is facing a water shortage after a shipping container accident spilled two tons of Spit Sponge pad dryers into Lake Union. The bright yellow cleaning devices for woodwind instruments are super absorbent and caused water levels to drop eight feet. Clean up efforts are underway as volunteers from local marching bands, concert bands and jazz bands work together to collect the Spit Sponge devices and squeeze water back into the lake. "It's a challenge to conduct clean up efforts while keeping a six foot social distance from other volunteers," said Seattle Symphony oboist, Flo Smith.
"The lake looks like the yellow brick road!" said Seattle High School Jazz Band Director, Bob Clutch. "It's great to see so many parents and band students bringing hair dryers and generators so we can squeeze out the water and quickly dry all of these Spit Sponges. Then we'll put them to good use on our instruments."
This accident hits Washington at a tough time as the state copes with one of the nation's worst Covid-19 outbreaks. "I'm glad this can be cleaned up without the use of extra ventilators or hospital beds," remarked a tired looking Governor Inslee. "We've halted all boat traffic through the busy Fremont Bridge waterway and are monitoring the situation closely to assess if federal disaster relief is needed. Who knew these little things were so freakin' absorbent!"
Key Leaves Inc., the maker of the Spit Sponge pad dryers, has taken full responsibility for the accident and is coordinating cleanup efforts with local authorities and band directors. Key Leaves President, Rulon Brown, said "We promise to do all that is needed to clean this precious water way, restore a safe environment for wake boarding, and donate all reclaimed product to local woodwind players and school bands.
If you believed this April Fools story, Key Leaves is now accepting stock investor purchases for a new bridge project across Lake Sammamish.
Thanks to brewbooks for use of his photo.